What Vegetable is a Fish?

by Sanctified Brother

My being a vegan has caused me to endure some amazing brain farts on behalf of the uninitiated. I know the poor souls mean well, really. It’s just that they have a way of saying and doing the most embarrassing things at times.

I had time before a meeting in SoHo and stopped at a new restaurant that served vegan food. It was like a spring of fresh water in the dessert. I needed refreshments and there was a place prepared to satisfy my need.

The helpful waitstaff assured me that they had great vegan food:

Salad.

You’ve got to be kidding me. All they had to serve in this great, big melting pot of a city for a vegan to eat is a salad?

And, there’s fish.

Sister, what vegetable is a fish? I chose not to be a self-righteous vegan and condemn her because her pesco- got mixed up with my heck no. She had a brain fart. Cranial flatulence. The bad kind.

I’m sure she meant well, so I didn’t hold it against her. Neither did I order anything with her. I kept my peace and kept on walking to my meeting. At least that was fulfilling.

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